Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
