Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize