Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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