My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
