it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
