So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
is wine microwaveable?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
