Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
