So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
