highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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