In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
