Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm at about main and main street
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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