you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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