There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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