Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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