Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
