I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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