Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying