Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet