Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land