AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me