no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.