Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"