U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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