My friends, they love my intelligence
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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