We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
