There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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