Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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