This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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