Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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