New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize