end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
