i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
porn star boner night. come get it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
