Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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