Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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