I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I look better un-naked...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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