found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
