I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
