Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
