Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
