i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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