that's an acceptable place to lick
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
