btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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