Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
