I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
don't judge my taste in strippers
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I love you. Go after that dick
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
