OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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