He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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