I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
