hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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