I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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