Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
