Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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