The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
