He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
