walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
