I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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