What a fucking waste of an outfit
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
smell my finger.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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