dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
