I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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