The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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